remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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