it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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