don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
