he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
