if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
