So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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