She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
