what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
