I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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