Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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