3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize