dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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