If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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