god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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