I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
