It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
