You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
