Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
