yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
