Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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