We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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