I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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