That's when you crack a 10am beer
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
