I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
