Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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