Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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