Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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