Midget sex pt 2 tonight
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
