community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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