also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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