Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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