He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
