i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
