you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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