Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
