So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to make out with him forever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize