i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
