the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
