I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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