He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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