wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
