I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize