If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize