bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
