dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.