I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner