apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
