So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i think my cat just said my name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
