No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
