its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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