he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
