i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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