do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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