I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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