Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
