That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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