You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
