she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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