Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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