I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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