So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
