Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
