My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
